Looking back
2024 has been a year of amazing experiences, deep disappointments, great accomplishments, major losses, and undeniable growth. I’ve forged some amazing new friendships, felt the purest love, and weathered heartbreak. I’ve been celebrated and validated by strangers, and ignored and abandoned by friends. Ultimately, it’s been another year of life and learning, and I’m happy to be where I am.
There are a few changes of note. I have decided not to continue my residency with my ensemble at the Recreational Psychoacoustics Lab, opting instead to do mostly solitary work in my home studio, hereafter to be known as the Bardo Room. The documentary is still in progress and will naturally follow whatever happens next.
Regarding my Substack/newsletter, I have changed the name and branding once more to better reflect my writing goals for next year. I will be discontinuing the Xenome Diaries in their current format, and focusing on sharing my thoughts on the intersection of art and spirituality through a neuroqueer lens. (Also, in case it’s not clear, “prophetex” is the gender-neutral form of prophet/prophetess.)
In this moment
I have a calmness and a clarity unlike anything I can remember. There is so much I want to explore and experience, but the tension and anxiety of striving has all but dissipated. Perhaps this is the calm before the inevitable storm that’s coming in January, but for now I’m enjoying a moment of deep inner peace. I’m clearing away the clutter and detritus, and preparing for the path ahead.
Real magic
The greatest form of power is world-building. I’m not talking about mere fiction or role-play (although the truth is there’s little distinction to be made between reality and fantasy). There is real magic in speaking things into existence, creating truths for yourself and others. Whatever words are used to describe the phenomenon, the practice is used by artists, writers, marketers, spiritual leaders, life coaches, and politicians to craft the narratives that are the foundation of our lives, for better or worse.
My awakening came from multiple modalities: learning storytelling and filmmaking; discovering my trans-ness, exploring my queerness, and escaping the gender binary; studying secular mindfulness and bhakti yoga; being trained as an existential wellness coach and seeing the ritual and magic that resided just under the surface; watching the current political landscape and the corruption of mass media unfold; and experiencing the very real spiritual remembering and becoming of prolonged and repeated contemplative improvisation.
There is an ongoing war being fought over reality, where ideas are weaponized against those who are oblivious to their own power, the power to wake up from the fever dream that’s been written by a demographic with only their own interests in mind. The oppressors hold power by making enough people believe that they are powerless. The weapons we have to fight back are creativity and self-knowledge, authenticity and community, diversity and resilience.
I’m not here to tell you what to believe or how to live your life. I’m actually here to tell you that no one has that right, which means it’s ultimately your responsibility to build the world you want to exist. No one owns reality. No one owns art. No one owns God / Source / The Universe / Whatever. Outside of science (and even within it if you know how science works), all anyone really has is opinions based on experience. And the loudest folks generally speaking have a whole lot more opinions than experience.
It’s time to claim our power, question everything, and take away the keys of the gatekeepers. The future is queer and neurodiverse, and I’m here to shine a little light on that.
Looking forward
The next 4+ years may be rough if you’re living in the US, but the thing to remember is that they can never take away who you are unless you give it to them. Be as strong as you can be, be weak when you need to be, and lean on each other when you can. Look to your queer leaders for strength and inspiration, and demand that your government representatives (whether you voted for them or not) either faithfully represent the needs of the people, or step aside.
Happy New Year. I’ll see you in 2025.
i love this direction and your thoughts Qid!