I'm here 💯 for everything you say in "Breaking the Binary Breaks Everything" (well, all of it really, but that especially.) The days of ONES and ZEROS on the gender spectrum are quickly breaking down into a breathtaking and beautiful kaleidoscope of expression, and for some, it is quite the existential crisis. Interesting times upon us.
As a rather conventional gay man who recently turned 50, I'll admit that all the people represented by the letters beyond LGB in our alphabet alliance have lived experiences that seem so distantly removed from my own. The events that rocked my life over the past decade (which I'll be sharing in my new publication) have imparted many lessons I have taken to heart. These lessons include: listen as much as I speak, always treat every single human being as made in the image of God and possessing infinite dignity, be humbled by that fact and move through life with abundant curiosity and openness. I'm glad to have made your acquaintance - even if only virtually - and will keep listening, learning and loving.
Well said, and I agree! But I’d add another layer to your critique. One thing we’re seeing a lot in US political discourse is hysteria over abortion, and I think control over reproduction, and pregnant bodies, is another piece of this puzzle. So much of the conservative, particularly the evangelical, discourse and agenda is about controlling reproduction by controlling women’s bodies. That entire power structure is based on a gender binary. If the gender binary breaks down, the social control mechanisms break down. Anyway, I’m here for gender anarchy, the shattering binary, and beautiful, unruly bodies dancing in the messy middle 🤩
"I feel that it is not binary transness, but non-binary and genderqueer existence that is ultimately the largest threat to the status quo, and not just for straight manly men with strong opinions. [...] The trans man who grows a beard and presents in a way that is traditionally considered masculine is not a real threat to the stereotypical red hat “alpha male” types. Neither is the stealth trans woman who lives 99% of her life under the radar. It’s the folks residing in the non-polar regions of gender that complicate everything, and I’m here for it."
I get what you're saying, but I want to gently push back against this kind of rhetoric. If binary trans people aren't really a threat, it really hasn't stopped certain people from being very loud about how threatened we make them feel. There are multiple (terrible) books like Irreversible Damage and The Transsexual Empire that specifically obsess over binary trans folks' supposed transgressions. It's not uncommon to see accusations that binary transsexuals are "reinforcing the binary" by transitioning, as if gender nonconformity is progressive and liberating while "binary" transition is either absurd or patriarchal.
It makes me a bit sad to see other trans folks downplay this problem or flirt with agreeing with it. The capital-b Binary is not just the existence of male and female as identities or their aesthetic signifiers, but also the way those identities are enforced onto certain kinds of bodies. Transphobes are particularly disturbed by medical transition, but of course plenty of nonbinary people seek out hormones and surgeries and whatnot. In that light, "binary trans person" reads to me an oxymoron-- the Binary™ does not abide transitions of any kind.
You're completely right though that gender is not and has never been as rigid as some would like to believe it is. Even cis people invent and understand niche genders like butch, femme, himbo, punk, queen, mommy, metrosexual, sigma male, etc. It's true that very few people exist at the edges of any spectrum, which means this strict enforcement of gender-conformity that's so trendy right now is bad for just about everyone!! But that enforcement often has relatively little sway over metaphysical identity itself, so it focuses instead on restricting or punishing the actions we might take to express it.
Thanks for your comment, and you're right. It was not my intent to downplay the power or the struggle of any trans folks. We are all a threat to those that would prefer we didn't exist, and we all feel the impact of transphobia. I struggled a bit writing that and should have examined it a bit more deeply. I also recognize the privilege I have of living in a place where I don't have to conform to gender norms to exist in public. I appreciate the dialogue. I think I'll take another pass at that paragraph.
No worries & no shame!! I don't think we have to chalk up nearsightedness to privilege, it's just natural to look at your own struggle and imagine that others must have it easier, because they don't deal with the same specific problems that you know so well. You were just writing from the heart about what you know, and it's so hard to know what you *don't* know unless someone tells you. Thank you for the kind reply. 🙏
I'm here 💯 for everything you say in "Breaking the Binary Breaks Everything" (well, all of it really, but that especially.) The days of ONES and ZEROS on the gender spectrum are quickly breaking down into a breathtaking and beautiful kaleidoscope of expression, and for some, it is quite the existential crisis. Interesting times upon us.
Thanks! And I'm here for the folks that can embrace the existential crisis and grow from it. Cheers!
As a rather conventional gay man who recently turned 50, I'll admit that all the people represented by the letters beyond LGB in our alphabet alliance have lived experiences that seem so distantly removed from my own. The events that rocked my life over the past decade (which I'll be sharing in my new publication) have imparted many lessons I have taken to heart. These lessons include: listen as much as I speak, always treat every single human being as made in the image of God and possessing infinite dignity, be humbled by that fact and move through life with abundant curiosity and openness. I'm glad to have made your acquaintance - even if only virtually - and will keep listening, learning and loving.
Well said, and I agree! But I’d add another layer to your critique. One thing we’re seeing a lot in US political discourse is hysteria over abortion, and I think control over reproduction, and pregnant bodies, is another piece of this puzzle. So much of the conservative, particularly the evangelical, discourse and agenda is about controlling reproduction by controlling women’s bodies. That entire power structure is based on a gender binary. If the gender binary breaks down, the social control mechanisms break down. Anyway, I’m here for gender anarchy, the shattering binary, and beautiful, unruly bodies dancing in the messy middle 🤩
"I feel that it is not binary transness, but non-binary and genderqueer existence that is ultimately the largest threat to the status quo, and not just for straight manly men with strong opinions. [...] The trans man who grows a beard and presents in a way that is traditionally considered masculine is not a real threat to the stereotypical red hat “alpha male” types. Neither is the stealth trans woman who lives 99% of her life under the radar. It’s the folks residing in the non-polar regions of gender that complicate everything, and I’m here for it."
I get what you're saying, but I want to gently push back against this kind of rhetoric. If binary trans people aren't really a threat, it really hasn't stopped certain people from being very loud about how threatened we make them feel. There are multiple (terrible) books like Irreversible Damage and The Transsexual Empire that specifically obsess over binary trans folks' supposed transgressions. It's not uncommon to see accusations that binary transsexuals are "reinforcing the binary" by transitioning, as if gender nonconformity is progressive and liberating while "binary" transition is either absurd or patriarchal.
It makes me a bit sad to see other trans folks downplay this problem or flirt with agreeing with it. The capital-b Binary is not just the existence of male and female as identities or their aesthetic signifiers, but also the way those identities are enforced onto certain kinds of bodies. Transphobes are particularly disturbed by medical transition, but of course plenty of nonbinary people seek out hormones and surgeries and whatnot. In that light, "binary trans person" reads to me an oxymoron-- the Binary™ does not abide transitions of any kind.
You're completely right though that gender is not and has never been as rigid as some would like to believe it is. Even cis people invent and understand niche genders like butch, femme, himbo, punk, queen, mommy, metrosexual, sigma male, etc. It's true that very few people exist at the edges of any spectrum, which means this strict enforcement of gender-conformity that's so trendy right now is bad for just about everyone!! But that enforcement often has relatively little sway over metaphysical identity itself, so it focuses instead on restricting or punishing the actions we might take to express it.
Thanks for your comment, and you're right. It was not my intent to downplay the power or the struggle of any trans folks. We are all a threat to those that would prefer we didn't exist, and we all feel the impact of transphobia. I struggled a bit writing that and should have examined it a bit more deeply. I also recognize the privilege I have of living in a place where I don't have to conform to gender norms to exist in public. I appreciate the dialogue. I think I'll take another pass at that paragraph.
No worries & no shame!! I don't think we have to chalk up nearsightedness to privilege, it's just natural to look at your own struggle and imagine that others must have it easier, because they don't deal with the same specific problems that you know so well. You were just writing from the heart about what you know, and it's so hard to know what you *don't* know unless someone tells you. Thank you for the kind reply. 🙏