Dear Diary
I’m non-binary, specifically transfemme. I’m also neurodivergent, specifically autistic. Those two aspects of being converge to make me neuroqueer, specifically gendervague, and most specifically, a vaguegirl. That’s today’s lesson on neurogenders. Neurodivergent Rebel posted a great article on the topic a couple of days ago, which you should read, if you’re interested:
I haven’t worn a pair of pants in public in almost 5 years. I do wear sleep pants around the house and occasionally as far as the mailbox, but other than that, my wardrobe is completely unbifurcated.
It started with Utilikilts back in the fall of 2018. Later I discovered Verillas, a trans-owned clothing company, and started buying all of my kilts from there. In the last couple of years, I’ve moved to kaftan dresses in the summer, because they’re cooler and more femme-coded.
Wednesday was pretty rainy and we had to go grocery shopping at lunch, so I opted for a kilt and hoodie. As I was bagging my groceries, an older white lady came up and said, “I love your kilt. You’re wearing it because…?”
I do have Scottish ancestry. I told her that to get her to go away. The real truth is that I wear kilts because I like kilts, and also because I wasn’t quite ready to go full on femme when I last refreshed my wardrobe. But all of that is really none of her business, just like it’s none of her business why I wear a kilt.
She probably went home and told her husband she saw some Scottish dude at the grocery wearing a kilt. What she actually saw was a transfemme person who was minding their own fucking business until she came along with her demand to know why they dared to dress differently.
Please don’t do this. It’s fine to compliment someone briefly, but never question someone’s wardrobe, especially a trans person who is just trying to survive in public. Get comfortable with not knowing or understanding, and just being ok with diversity. I’m sure she didn’t really mean any harm, but this is why diversity education is important. Even a Scottish dude in a kilt doesn’t owe anyone an explanation or education in the middle of a grocery store.
OK, that’s most of my rant. It ultimately saddens me that so much of humanity still lives in this dark, oppressed place where there’s a right way and a wrong way to be human, and where certain classes of people regularly take it upon themselves to police everyone else. There’s so much joy to be had when people are allowed to be their truest, fullest selves. People can be awesome when you let them grow outside of the little boxes that our neurotypical, cisheteropatriarchal, hypercapitalist society has built.
Progress
With this post, week one of the Xenome Diaries is in the bag. I’ve added two albums to my Bandcamp page, one for the 48 minute track that kicked this off, and one containing the other 4 tracks, including this one. I won’t be doing Qatalog posts for these releases because it seems a bit redundant.
About the track
This track is ultimately about queer love, portrayed by a pair of infatuated droids.
I wanted to bring back a slight bit of organization to the rhythm, so I loaded up DrumComputer and then ran that through Other Desert Cities to keep things from getting too straight. There’s also some rhythmic weirdness from GlitchScaper. This track features AudioThing’s Gong Amp (routed after Noises), which just came out on iOS yesterday.
The droid sounds were actually a happy accident that ended up driving the track. I routed the audio from Noises and Gong Amp into MIDImorphosis and sent the resulting MIDI to SUBscription synth running through the brand new Moog Moogerfooger MF-104S Analog Delay, which is finally out of beta so I can talk about it. I used TATAT again to drive Module Pro for the piano.
I kept the guitar sounds pretty simple on this one, so it’s just the Plasma Pedal, SSS SRV, and Deco running into the iPad and then routed through Moogerfooger MF-108S Cluster Flux, Looperator, and Springs. I also had Alchemy running on my iPad Air, playing the factory “Spritual Bugs” preset, modulated by midiLFOs.
Tools and stuff
Licensed audio samples from Glitchmachines.
Gear: Strandberg Boden NX 7, M-Audio Air 192/14, iPad Pro M2, iPad Air
Pedals: Gamechanger Audio Plasma Pedal, SSS SRV, Strymon Deco
Apps
Arthur Kerns: midiLFOs
Audio Damage: Other Desert Cities
AudioThing: Gong Amp, Noises, Springs
Caelum Audio: SUBscription Synth
Camel Audio: Alchemy Pro
Jam Origin: MIDI Guitar 2
K-Devices: TATAT
Korg: Module Pro
Kymatica: AUM, AudioShare, AU3FX:Push
Moog: Moogerfooger MF-104S Analog Delay, Moogerfooger MF-108S Cluster Flux
Secret Base Design: MIDImorphosis 2
Sugar Bytes: DrumComputer, Looperator
Yuri Turov: Phonolyth Cascade
Xenome 804
804 is another 2-note xenome, otherwise known as the major 6th interval. Besides the sound of the two notes played together, much of the sonic interest of this combination comes from the minor 3rd interval between the A and C.
C-804 scale diagrams
Xenotuning
6-String Guitar
Keyboard
Magic Square
Droids in Love